I'll be closed this Sunday and Monday. I'm not licensed to open on state and federal holidays and I just know that the plain-clothed inspectors, rather than going to the beach like the rest of Rhode Island, will be coming here to shut me down. Am I paranoid? (Who asked that question?) Not in the least. I'm just obsessively cautious. And besides, I like the beach as much as anybody. Unfortunately, I won't get near it this weekend. Because I hate crowds. And crowds of fat, pale people, underdressed and underfoot, I hate with a particular passion. My wife and I have things at our new house that need to be done before we finally move in. And that's what I'm going to do this weekend, stranger, rather than waiting in vain for you to drop by. Now, how do you wish-well on this occasion? You can't say, "Happy Memorial Day!" It's too grave a holiday for that. What if you dropped the exclaimation mark? What if you traded "Happy" for "Have a Nice". Why not just say, "Hey, Will You Invite Me to Your Barbecue?" Please call or email me with any information, directions, etc.