If you happen to stop by this Saturday, don't be alarmed when you see a six-foot-something elf sitting in my chair. I and my wife have volunteered our time and dignity to serve as one of the many checkpoints in the annual autumn alley cat race here in Providence. The theme is Xmas vs. Halloween. I think I'm supposed to look like an evil elf but, Stranger, I've seen the costume, even tried it on, and there's nothing evil about it. Instead, I look more like what Peter Pan might have looked like if he'd ever grown up, developed an unholy thirst for Guinness stout and opened up a little book store somewhere. My wife, however, looks pretty wicked in her outfit. Wicked sexy, that is. (That's my attempt at New England slang. It sits as unseasily on my tongue as it does on the screen.) If you want to know more about the race go here: www.bikecave.com. And please, if you do see me, fairy flags flying, keep cracks and comments to yourself. I have a Humpty-Dumpty ego.